Brown and I have been keeping quiet lately, not wanting to let our position slip to any possible Agents of The Threat. We change our location every 3-4 days, trying to not return to the same location unless required.
The nightmares have continued, nothing has changed in them except the faces of the victims. The same concept: me dressed in a suit, chasing these people who are begging me not to kill them, yet I do so anyway. The other two guys in suits congratulating me, telling me that "the boss" would be pleased with how I was progressing. The thing that troubles me most about these nightmares: each time I have them, they seem more and more realistic. When I say realistic, I mean they begin to feel more lucid and vivid. It's almost as if I am controlling the nightmare, yet I choose to have them end the same way. To steal a quote from a literary classic, "Curiouser and curiouser."
However, in spite of this, I have seen a little glimmer of hope today. As I logged on to make this post, I saw an update from one of the blogs I had been following years ago. Three updates, to be exact, within the past month or so. Her first updates in 5 years. We were never truly friends or allies, but she was always willing to throw some helpful words to those that chose to listen, even if those words were obscured by her own unique way of relating them.
Thage. you have given me hope that others have survived during these horrible times. Perhaps it means I can keep hope for others as well.
Especially for Kay.
Kay, I could really use you right about now.